Alone

  Sometime when i'm are sitting under moon light, it's make me think what i've been through before. What hv i done to be stand here. I stil remember 18 years ago, when i wake up, I've seen nobody at home. ( last time my family have financial crisis before my mother remarriage) My brother and my sister going for school,my mother works. I'm crying a lot that time. I feel scared to be alone. Only accompany that time is cat. I don't know where it's come from, but it's make me feel comfortable. I always talk to that cat. It's very hard time for me.

I know my father leave me when i was 3 month old. My mother said, that time she's would give me to other person because conflict with my father. It's really be my nightmare the whole my life but i can understand her's situation. I've bad time during my growth. Feel so lonely.. In my family, i'm the only one who less words. I'll talk when it's necessary. Eventhough i'm like that, but when i'm at stages for my performance, whether singing, poem, drama and others, somehow i be brave and strong enough to do it. Might be stage the only place that i release all my feeling that i've keep for long since I know my truth. Pain all the time. No one could understand what i've been through.

Until now, I still can't forget what happened. The scars that never heal, but since that time, i really like cats. Sometime i'll talking to the cats because I believe, it's able to undrstand on what i'm saying. People always said,"past is the past". That's true, but what happen if your memories still remember it and thinks why ......

Eventhough in pain, I'll keep stronger to fight and win in the end....thanks to people around me, keep fighting togather. All my strenght, all my will be a momentum to win this fight because I know there's people sakes in my hand. I will make happiness for my family and my friend who's always be my sides.......

Life Goes On

Past few days, I'm not well and it's hard time for me. Yesterday is the last day Mr.Arman Soror in MSU. He's going back to his country,Iran. He's such a good lecture and very kind to me. I just can't forget when i become his first fren in MSU. There's something happened argue each other.  Since then, we closed. He always said" Kyle, smoke"...I always 'pao' his cigarette and he did same things to me . Once he said, "I wanna stop smoking today". Then the next day, he sitting at cafe, smoking. "eik,what happen the words from yesterday" i asked. He said could not afford it. I'm laughing at him, he's kind funny.. I hopes he's happy with his decisions. I always pray for him and i always remember his advice"kyle,add colour in your life"

At night, I went to basketball practice with Sendoh(farid). It's obviously i can't defeat him. He's too skillful and he have some experiences in the past, but it's really enjoyed when playing basketball. I wish, someday I will surpass him.hehehe...Like always, I'm checked the new anime manga online, suddenly he came disturb me, siting on table,  playing guitar. I'm not mad because he played it very well.The moment the played the song, I can't tell the different but he's pretty amazing...sssshhhh...Don't said it loud....hahahaha...

I'm realize , my life is all about learning. I learned from the person better than me and that's make improvement in my self.What i can do is learn the way of survive. If I know all these things, I can save many people from suffer. I've promise someone to endure the pain of 'this person' had. I will tried my best to fulfill it and I want 'this  person' having the happiness life. If I'm not meet this person, my life not worth at all. I've seen this person's tears when 'this person' told about 'this person' past. It's hard for 'this person' all alone. Since that day, I promised to help him whatever it's take, even it's take my life. I swear to the God......That's friendship.....

Lonely Night

Tonight is lonely night ,

Night just after cried and the weather still  cold and wet. 

The sky still dark.

Suddenly night heard the beautiful music sound  guitar singing. 

The night were touch by the song's played.

The wind still blowing 

Night feel lonely without star and moon which always be it's side.

Night become so dark, without the light by it's side.

The night stand alone and don't know what should do

.."why i being left alone?...where should i go?"..night still question him self.

From above, night see the quite and lonely city.

There's nobody down there. Again, night feel so alone.

Night begin glooming, the tears falls to the earth surface......

by Kyle Anthony

Gone forever...............

Once upon the time, I heard the story which is Hurt Losing. Losing someone such important in our life is the worse pain and leave scars in our heart that can’t cure forever. The story:

He’s regret when he’s not by her side when last moment her breath. He got a called ” hello, WHAT??? Impossible, she’s only on vacation with her family, not going for operation”. Then call from her sister, to tell the truth. Once he knows, there’s nothing he can do. He’s tried to calm, but he can’t take it anymore, ignore the pride and he cried loud like a little boy. His crying feel so much pain, hurt, disappointed, blamed himself.” why u leave me alone!!!?” he said. Nobody understand what he’s feel at that time. He keeps crying. He’s take out all the pain even he lost energy to stand. His heart broken in to pieces, he’s tried to hold it’s tied but he can’t. The time when he can’t do anything make he feel useless. The lost that he had is the bigger lost in he’s life. All the promised and all the happiness gone forever. The only left is memories that never leave. He’s realize that everyone have to go when time is come. He’s tried so hard to accept it. Every night he looked at the sky, feel so much lonely. Her face keeps appears in the sky, make him talked all alone (monolog), “how are u today, I hope you be ok, I promised to continue my life. I love you forever not a second I’ll forget u”. He keeps moving on and achieved her beloved’s dreams. He’s start to learned piano, then he decide want to leave Malaysia when he have a chance to do it. Until now, he feels the disaster just happened yesterday. But he keep continue to achieve that they dreams together. He believes, she always looking at him all the time. At the daylight, the tried to be cool and show how strong he is faced his faith, but at night, when looking at the sky, he’s crying a lot. It’s too hurt, even take thousand years, he can’t forget it, and no one know what he’s went through. Much pain left in his heart……………………..The End of story,

Since you gone,

My life so empty,

Since you gone,

There is a lonely heart,

Those memories togather,

I live it all the time,

Because I don't want you disappears,

I will remember you for all my life,

I always love you,

Watch me from above.............

Thank you....

Today was my last exam....ffuuhhhh, such a relief. Like always , all my friends come out with a lot of complains, I'm also joined too. hahaha...youth very beautiful after all. Then I straight going to Sendoh(farid)'s house. He ask me, how's the exam, i just said, ok je...then he continue watching the movie. I get in to room and take a bath. Suddenly i said"deym, so hungry". Since morning never eat anything. After finish my shower, straight open my laptop, check email and facebook. uuiisshh, today so a lot my friends  sending msg and email. I'm really happy. They are among friends that come to my life and never leave. Thnx everyone who concern about me. Then Sen come and sit in front his laptop. I'm asking,whether he had his lunch, he answer yes. "emm..tonight we going dinner a little bit early ,k"i said. He knew I'm not eat anything, then he said, "ok no problem,ko lapar, aq taw tu". His hands reached the guitar and play the song Cromok, I don't belong  here. owesome!!!... his continue play the song, i just listen while I'm doing my analysis about current market. Just simply do because I'm like it. Around 8.45pm, he asked, "what time wanna a going for dinner", "around 10pm" i reply..he asked to wake him up at 10pm Time is running so fast, I don't look at time, suddenly Sen wake up, "eh ,khai, it's already 11.30pm, why you not wake me up", he's sound like angry. I know he's not angry, but concern about me not eat anything since morning. He always threat me as his little brother. Then he said"khai, you should wake me up if you feel hungry. silent on my side...hahaha...since i be here, almost all the night he accompany me take a dinner eventhough it's late night. Sen2...if Carren here, she must be thnx to him. I hope he will have a good life after years he was struggle with faith. God bless you, Sen ...Amin.. 

Sky...Bring me back

Tomorrow  is my last exam, tonight struggle to make revision. Take a little breath , fuuhhh...this subject might kill me, after all law is not my field. That's why i refer to Sendoh(farid) because he's know better than me in  law. He's already sleep and I only just wan to memorize all this note. Lucky tomorrow exam at 3.00 pm, give me some space to read back. That's why I hate theory( my kind more on calculation)..it's already 1.38 am , everyone in their own dreams right now. I'm the only one still wake up. From level 15 , i can feel the fresh air in the early morning, some people said, it's good for health if you try to take fresh air early in the morning. Make u feel peace and calm, all the problem make you headache will disappear. I really like this environment, quite, peace, calm. When I look at the sky, I feel everyone i that i love will do as i do. Sky connected our heart , eventhough i realize they not in this world anymore, but Sky make me feel they always be with me. Might be some people said ,i'm 'giler bayang', but it's my heart's feeling, why should I deny it. Sky bring me back at that time, everyone together happy, it's kind sad when they left before me. I'm always keeping this feeling because i don't want people know about it because they will said 'ala aq lagi teruk'. But one person know about this, my close friend, Sendoh(farid). Well , I'm proud to know person like him. 

It's 2.06 am, I'm still bloging and looking around Shah Alam from my window.......................

Back to Past

Today i really don't get it... why suddenly i feel miss so much my old friends...song giin, gai cheah, ah pam, khee kher and others. back there it's really happy with them. study , compete each other, fighting :p , and every situation leave a nice memories. During I form 1, Chow Song Giin(I call him as Chow), I always disturb him,haha..it's kind of funny when talking with him but he really genius in math. i always refer to him how to get the solution for the math question and I improved my position in class. Since that , i really enjoyed when I'm do math. once I look at him, I know he will have bright future. After Form 5, i never heard him, our path is different. Then lately i found him at facebook, it's really surprise.. even he already go to UK Liverpool for study. I really impressed. He totally surpassed me. But i'm proud to be his friend.

OMG,,it's 5.17pm already. Farid( i called him Sendoh) finish the exam by now. I have to fetch him. He supposed ride my motorcycle, but suddenly "tayar pancit". Then he asked pijan to take him go to college... I should go by now fetching him..........

Music Tonight..Sometimes When We Touch By Dan Hill

Tonight feel very empty, when i look outside my window, i can see the light from various place. No sound of noisy, cold weather . From above, i can see car like tiny light. The sky full with the stars, it's make the night more beautiful...... Aaaiiissssshh....I really relived tonight, because I know someone out there love me most and I know people around have some really love me and some pretend to love me. I'd know why they pretend to love me . I'd realize that but for me, they only one chapter in my life, my true friends , the people love me sincerely is the whole chapter in my life.. I really appreciate them for pours their love on me, especially my close friend and my love...These people always accompany me n make my life more meaningful..Thnx God because give a chance to meet these people

Hiruma Kiss The Rain

This song have wonderful piano melody. I've promise to my friend to play this song. My friend love this melody and ask me play it. I still work on it. I also think wanna to play this song during my marriage...hehehe....actually Kiss The Rain will attract the people who love music..U can feel it, get in to your heart. After all, I'm like piano most..hahaha...not expert enough, but still can play...

First time I listen to this song, I can feel it the beautiful melody. Like it's hav bond on me. It's  wow, I'd  cried on this song. This song bring my time back with those people I love so much and now they gone forever. It's so much pain left... I will come out with lyric on this song. 

Ozielzinho - Isabella

I could cried when my friend,Akira Sendoh(Farid) tried to play this song. I dont  want to mention it, but he pretty good. He told me where name of Issabella come from. It's really amazing story . Love between man n women, the man i forget his name, but the women name Issabella. It's really beautiful story. Power Of Love..

Terakhir ~ mahkota band

This song's popular through the Naomei Tvshow at Tv 3. My friend, Akira Sendoh always play this song melody by his guitar.. Well, it's hard to accept it, but I can said pretty amazing. :p

Tambalutku - Jastie Alexius

Tambalutku mean My Friend. This song i received from my friend, touching beb.. this song have a deep meaning, this song bring u to appreciate your friend no matter he still in this world or other world. the expression this song make people realize the important of your friend. plez listen it carefully..might change ur life after u listen to this song.

After i received this song, I'm start thinking, how i will face this situation when time is come. I'm realize everyone hav to go when time's come, but still i hard to accept it. The things that i can promise,I'll remember my friend for whole my life. Eventhough after gone, but still inside my heart forever. Hahaha...eventhough this friend always disturb me, but make me comfortable and i don't want to lost this kind of friend. A lot of kind of people I've meet,but this friend different. So,as long this friend live, I'll make sure this friend happy n only that i can do for this friend.

 

Eva Cassidy - Autumn Leaves with lyrics

This song have beautiful melody and one of my favorite song. I able to feel the touch of the melody when the music start to play. Eva Marie Cassidy (February 2, 1963 – November 2, 1996)   was an American vocalist known for her interpretations of jazz, blues, folk, gospel, country and pop. She's very talented and when she's start playing guitar, she's able to touch the audience's heart. 

The Beautiful Song In My Life.......

Yeon / Fate Lyrics (Hong Gil Dong OST)

naega nomu ya-khaeso
naega nomu nabbaso
kujo irohke nol pogoman isso
naye chichim ma-umdo
naye kipun sangchodo
oraen kiyokchorom ijussonnabwa
narul kamdanghal suga opso
noyegeman mae-dallige dwe
no irohke kajima
nae shimjangi norul buruja-nha
michidorok chani-nhan in-yeo-ne
to-isang amugotdo hal suga opso
sulpun naye mosupdo
sulpun noye nunbitdo
kujo suchyoganun paramiryona
gochin baramsoriye
kwerul [...]

Hong Gil Dong  a Korean TV series  January 2, 2008. This song expression the disappointed because can not do anything for their lover, but only able to see the suffer of their lover. blame their self for their weakness.