Love Desire Honesty Hurt

“Eventhough you love someone, it’s doesn’t mean you have to be with them” that’s my friend said to me just now. I’m keep thinking about that, there’s the truth behind that statement. But mean you have to sacrifice for your love. Sometime destiny makes it happen. I look around, I saw there’s people hurt because the matter of trust. Love and desire is very different things, people should know it.

While I’m writing this blog, suddenly one song starts to play. The song is Ella- Pedih. I tried to listen this song, I found out there’s have people always hurt because there’s no honesty in relationship. Honesty is very important in any kind of relationship. Ask yourself, do you honest with ur lover, brother or others…….what I hope now the honesty. When we lied to someone, when that people know it by themselves, they will get hurt more and in such pain situation. Might be outside look alright, but inside the tears of blood.

Pedih

Artist: Ella

Bukan kecewa dipinggirkan
Aku kecewa tiada kejujuran
Bukan bersedih disakiti
Teramat pedih diri dikhianati

Sebelum kasih menjadi benci
Aku memilih berpisah di sini

Bila tiada kesetiaan
Tak mungkin teguh pendirian
Biar menangis di ketika ini
Tidak rela menangis
Kemudian hari

Hilang kekasih mungkin berganti
Yang ku harapkan teman sejati
Sebelum kasih menjadi benci
Aku memilih berpisah di sini

Ho..ho..ho..
Ho..ho..ho..
Teman sejati

Ho..ho..ho..
Ho..ho..ho..
Berpisah di sini

This morning

the dark cloud dancing everywhere, it's a cold morning....
feels very peaceful, the wind blow a fresh air ...
beautiful morning...

Weird

Being too happy it's sign for lose something..people always said it.....Hmm ...I was very happy today, it's kind a weird things.. now I'm so scared and i know something bad will come... i hope i can handle it with calm...Amin...

JJ Lin Jun Jie 林俊傑-背對背擁抱 Bei Dui Bei Yong Bao

话总说不清楚
hua zong shuo bu qing chu
该怎么明了
gai zen me ming liao
一字一句像圈套
yi zi yi ju xiang quan tao
旧帐总翻不完
jiu zhang zong fan bu wan
谁无理取闹
shei wu li qu nao
你的双手甩开刚好的微妙
ni de shuang shou shuai kai gang hao de wei miao
然后战火再燃烧
ran hou zhan huo zai ran shao

Chorus:
我们背对背拥抱
wo men bei dui bei yong bao
滥用沉默在咆哮
lan yong chen mo zai pao xiao
爱情来不及变老
ai qing lai bu ji bian lao
葬送在烽火的玩笑
zang song zai feng huo de wan xiao

我们背对背拥抱
wo men bei dui bei yong bao
真话兜著圈子乱乱绕
zhen hua dou zhe quan zi luan luan rao
只是想让我知道
zhi shi xiang rang wo zhi dao
只是想让你知道
zhi shi xiang rang ni zhi dao
爱的警告(这警告)
ai de jing gao (zhe jing gao )

Repeat from beginning

我不要一直到
wo bu yao yi zhi dao
形同陌路变成自找
xing tong mo lu bian cheng zi zhao
既然可以拥抱
ji ran ke yi yong bao
就不要轻易放掉
jiu bu yao qing yi fang diao

Repeat Chorus and last 3 lines of chorus

The way....

Last night, I walked alone in the rain, I can see nobody there, its feel so quite, only I heard is the music every drops of rain. It’s feel like I’m the only one in town, the death town, Shah Alam. Now I feel so lonely, without anyone beside me.

There’s no one can replace the happiness I had before. May be it’s time for me be alone again. I know, there’s a lot of people surround me, but not each of them is sincerely. I have found it before, but it has been stole by person that always stole it from me just like before.

After the person I had being stolen, I’m feel there’s a lot of space between that person. Day by day, I can feel the distance keep increasing. What can I do?...............

I wake up this morning, I saw full message from my friends, include that person. I always hope that the times reverse again. I don’t wanna losing that person….

The sky becomes so dark, the light singing and dancing in the death city.

It’s prepared for the rain come to join them and

I, continued walk in the in the sorrow of the night.

Now only study can release me from trap in sorrow, lonely, and sadness that already have been placed in my heart. I need to be like always I do because I don’t wanna that person feel bed on what that person have done. So, I hope u always will be happy with the robbery.

HOPE?

Tonight, moonlight so blue, star keep smiling along with the wind dancing around. This environment make me so calm and peaceful. I can feel all living thing here gain a new strength, but...I still find where’s my strength gone. After a several years, I still fail to hold happiness in my hand. Everytime I had the happiness in my hand, suddenly it’s slip away. It’s just like my nightmare come everyday.

It’s hurt me again and again, I tried to continue my step back to the road. With all hurt and pain I had, I’m crying a lot, I’m shouting loudly, and I tried to act normal. I used all my strength to move my body,

"Aarrghhh…!!! It’s really hurt me now. Really hurt..... does anyone understand it?.It’s no one be there for me? Owh, I’m forget, now I have to accept the truth. The life that I created before, now it’s totally gone. Wwwhhyyyyyyyyy??????????.............." deep inside my heart.

It's already 1.00am, I could not close my eye. I'm looking through the window, the falling tears from the sky has started again. It's very quite night... In the dark of night, I can feel everybody already in their dream's world. Just only me left, waiting and searching the happiness nonstop. I feel really bad,really sad and really down on earth like every drop of tears does.

There’s people said that sometime our nightmare can become reality, but I still doubt it…I hope there’s still have a pieces of hope for me..

Sky still crying today

Today, the sky still in sadness and sorrow. Late afternoon when I was ride motorcycle, suddenly it’s raining. It’s very beautiful environment. Every tears of the sky drop on my body, it’s feel so cold. I slowdown my ride and enjoyed the rain. It’s just like the sky understand my heart, its crying when saw me crying deep inside my heart. I saw people running to avoid the rain, but me I’m not running because in my heart is already raining…..

I stared every drop of rain, “this is my life” said to myself. I can get everything, but my heart lonely day by day. Why my happiness always being steal?.... why when I in the middle of happiness, suddenly lose everything?...........

Hhuuuhhh…..I’m always think the answer, it’s there have true happiness or just everybody pretend there have happiness?.... now , I only bring myself to pretended world, I can pretend everything it all alright. May be I can forget what was happened lately. I keep cross my hand and I pray for all people that I love always will be happy. That’s all the last thing I can do…..

Stand still

It’s still raining today, the dark cloud busy walking around. Through the window, I can see all living things in Shah Alam. The wind blow my face, it's feel so fresh but “why I feel so sad?” asking myself. I feel so much pain in my heart after a several years I tried to forget it. It’s all come to visiting and bleeding all the old scars. I’m laughing to myself, I thought the pain already left me , but the truth, it’s only sleep in deep in my heart and waiting to wake up. Now it’s time the pain to kill all happiness. The sincerely smile, the true happiness now's gone……

Once upon the time, there’s have one legend which is has stated that eventhough you care bout that person, doesn’t mean you have to own that person, it’s enough to see their happiness because their happiness is your happiness. It’s the greatest sacrifice in relationship and the greatest pain you have to take along with you because you will be alone to face the life.

The sky still crying, I’m still thinking…. But I don’t know what I’m thinking. Outside look healthy but inside, I feel something wrong. Its feel something that can’t be describe by words. It’s really hard to faced life alone, no one to be there for you. Everything is not enough to face the life alone. But I don’t have a choice. Do I will falling down to earth?.........

I’m realizing the truth, I not good enough to be with anyone. May be it’s my destiny after all. But still , I’m tried to fight it and I know maybe it’s useless and will hurt myself,, but at least I’m tried to change my life……

I’M STILL STAND STRONG EVEN NOW SO MUCH PAIN………..

Still standing in the eyes of the world

< style="font-family:times new roman;"> It’s still raining today, the dark cloud busy walking around. Through the window, I can see all aroundbthe city. The wind blow my face, “why I feel so sad?” asking myself. I feel so much pain in my heart after a several years I tried to forget it. It’s all come to visiting and bleeding all the old scars. I’m laughing to myself, I thought the pain left me already, but the truth, it’s only sleep in deep in my heart and waiting to wake up. Now it’s time the pain to kill all happiness. The sincerely smile, the true happiness now gone……

Once, there’s have one legend which is stated that eventhough i care bout that person, doesn’t mean i owned the person, it’s enough to see their happiness because their happiness is your happiness. It’s the greatest sacrifice in relationship and the greatest pain i need to take along

The sky still crying, I’m still thinking…. But I don’t know what I’m thinking. I feel something wrong. Its feel something that can’t be describe by words. It’s really hard to faced life alone, no one to be there for me. But do I have a choice? Do I will falling down to earth?.........

May be it’s my destiny after all to taste so much pain. But still , I’m tried to fight it and I know maybe it’s useless and will hurt myself,, but at least I’m tried to change my life……

I’M STILL STAND STRONG EVEN NOW SO MUCH PAIN………..

When the time comes

There’s  star in the sky after the rain stopped. it's a cold and beautiful night. My mind flow away and I know I will lose again the important person in my life. I don’t know why I feel like this. There’s nothings will be forever. Not everything we want, we will get it. It’s not that easy because the sacrifice will be there. All pain, all scars, start bleeding again…. Now, I hope will fill my last moment with happiness. Raining in my heart will never stop, but I have to stand strong to realize my dreams. 

 

No. no… I still have my love which always watches me from the sky. “What I’m supposed to do, carren? Do I have been cursed that all people I love leave me behind alone?” speak to my self in the dark. Its feel like autumn leaf, have to leave the trees because it’s time to leave. The leaf will miss a lot the moment that being together with trees. Eventhough the leaf wanna stayed until the end of life, but its can’t afford it. That moment make me realize about there’s nothings will be forever. I’m tried to doubt it, but in the bottom of my heart, I know it’s the truth. 

 

Last few month, I was very happy, for the first time after so long I never feel so energetic and real smile on my face. It’s wow!!... I know from beginning it’s only temporary, but I feel the happiness in my life even it was short. With all promise I made that never leave me alone just wanna make me feel better. In my deepest heart, I realize it’s impossible to do so. But I’m still fighting for it eventhough I know I will hurt in the end…At that time, I will leave everything behind, I will disappeared from their eyes. I will take my heart go far away from here ………..