Alone

  Sometime when i'm are sitting under moon light, it's make me think what i've been through before. What hv i done to be stand here. I stil remember 18 years ago, when i wake up, I've seen nobody at home. ( last time my family have financial crisis before my mother remarriage) My brother and my sister going for school,my mother works. I'm crying a lot that time. I feel scared to be alone. Only accompany that time is cat. I don't know where it's come from, but it's make me feel comfortable. I always talk to that cat. It's very hard time for me.

I know my father leave me when i was 3 month old. My mother said, that time she's would give me to other person because conflict with my father. It's really be my nightmare the whole my life but i can understand her's situation. I've bad time during my growth. Feel so lonely.. In my family, i'm the only one who less words. I'll talk when it's necessary. Eventhough i'm like that, but when i'm at stages for my performance, whether singing, poem, drama and others, somehow i be brave and strong enough to do it. Might be stage the only place that i release all my feeling that i've keep for long since I know my truth. Pain all the time. No one could understand what i've been through.

Until now, I still can't forget what happened. The scars that never heal, but since that time, i really like cats. Sometime i'll talking to the cats because I believe, it's able to undrstand on what i'm saying. People always said,"past is the past". That's true, but what happen if your memories still remember it and thinks why ......

Eventhough in pain, I'll keep stronger to fight and win in the end....thanks to people around me, keep fighting togather. All my strenght, all my will be a momentum to win this fight because I know there's people sakes in my hand. I will make happiness for my family and my friend who's always be my sides.......