I’m looking out the window, seeing every drops of rain under the neon light. Keep thinking why sacrifices for someone else make happiness both sides. Without think about himself, he keep sacrifice in order to give happiness to people that he cared and loved. Without asking any payback, He feel happy sacrifice for them. He realize the risk, might be in the end, he will get hurt if he choose wrong people to give cared and loved, but he can’t afford it, he just thinking he have a short life, just left 5 or 6 years more, so he make the short happiness to have a sweet memories before he’s light turn off. He doesn’t let people around him know about it because he doesn’t want people’s sympathies.
He always thinks about others than himself, and I can see he always get hurt when people don’t understand what he tried to delivered. Sometime he cried alone because can’t take it anymore. But he wake up and said, ”I’ve promise to people I care and love and I have to full fill the promise that I made no matter what even its cost my life”.
Why he do such things? Even the people not his own blood, but he will do anything to fulfill the promised that he make. When I ask, why, then he answer “family is not about the blood, it’s all about who you cared and loved”. He tried so hard to make people (that he treats as family) will happy. When he getting close to somebody, he worried that person will leave him after he cared about and leave him in hurts. I know this always happened to him. And he afraid the history repeated again.
He keeps cross his hand and asking to save his relation with family he builds. So he can leave his world with peace and no one will know because he doesn’t want to take away his ‘family’ happiness. There’s no word how to describe this person……
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